Five Questions I Hate Answering As A New Writer

Today I have Jordanna East on the blog talking about the questions she hates answering as a new writer. I definitely have to agree with some of them.

Take it away, Jordanna!

How long have you been writing?

Dammit. When someone asks you how long you’ve been doing something, I swear they assume they’re talking to some kind of prodigy and expect you to reply that you have been exhibiting said skill since you were in diapers. If I don’t tell someone I’ve been writing since before I could wear Big Girl bloomers (That’s right, I reached back into the 1950’s and pulled out the word “bloomers.”) and use the Big Girl potty, they’re disappointed.

What have you written?

Dammit. “I’m still in the process of writing.” “It’s not finished.” “It’ll be out soon?” Before I can say any of this of course, the person has already walked away, having been disappointed that they didn’t just talk to an accomplished writer. Oh, and I’m usually left shouting after them, “Look for it in 2013!”

What’s your book about?

Dammit. I hate this question mainly because the people who seem to ask it aren’t readers themselves. They expect it to be a memoir of something awful that happened to me or a collection of horror stories from my many years as a server. No one ever expects it to be fiction. And when I start by saying it’s a psychological thriller, I’m met with a blank stare. I try to delve deeper and mention the female serial killer; she is the protagonist of the story, despite the fact that, you know, she kills people. That invites more funny faces. But I suppose showing even a modicum of interest is better than the aforementioned walking away in the middle of my telling a person that I’m not published “yet.”

Do you have an agent/publisher yet?

Dammit. No I don’t. And it IS for lack of trying. I intend to self-publish. Hence the lack of trying. I have done my research for over 6 months now and I’ve decided that self-publishing is for me. Not because I don’t think I can hack it or whatever, but because so many good books don’t get picked up by the publishing gods and end up becoming hits. Plus the money’s better. And I’m a control freak. But that’s another conversation.

Oh self-published, like Fifty Shades of Grey?

Dammit. Please, for the love of cute, tiny monkeys, do NOT construct a sentence that flows out of your face to compare me to Fifty Shades of Grey. Even if the technical answer to your question is “Yes.”

About Jordanna: Jordanna East is currently working on a full-length novel entitled Blood in the Paint. It’s a psychological thriller in which a seductive female serial killer and the ambitious young cop on to her are both seeing the same psychologist, who also has deadly ties to their pasts. She is also concurrently working on the prequel novella entitled Blood in the Past, which she plans to release in the Spring of 2013, followed by the novel in the summer. She’s married and living happily in Southern New Jersey with her husband and their slightly obsessive love of sports. Visit Jordanna at her blog, her Facebook page, or follow her on Twitter @JordannaEast.

Me again! Thanks for visiting with me, Jordanna! I had to chuckle at some of these.

How about you? What do you hate getting asked about writing?

Until next time…


18 thoughts on “Five Questions I Hate Answering As A New Writer

  1. Pingback: Five Questions I Hate Answering As A New Writer « journeyofjordannaeast

  2. Tim Baker

    Excellent post – you’ve nailed it! These questions go hand-in-hand with the statement “I’ve always wanted to write a book, it seems like easy money.” (true story – people have said that to me)

    The only other question I can think to add is…”Oh, do you write like (insert their favorite “real” author’s name).”

    This is basically a polite way of saying “Since you’re not carried by a ‘real’ publishing house you can’t possible have your own unique style/voice.”

    1. Cindy

      Yes the What do you write question is hard for me too because I write in so many different genres.

  3. Terri McMillan

    Dammit. You nailed it right on the head. I think that your agent/publisher answer should be “Yes I have the best Agent and Publisher, we are absolutely in sync on my work.” and then grill them about what they do. I can’t wait to read Blood in the Paint.

  4. Sandra Dailey

    YES! I’m a new writer and I agree completely. What I hate most is the assumption that all writers were inspired from the crib. I didn’t consider writing until I was almost 50.
    Here’s one you’ll love-My boss cut my hours at work in half because I’ll be making so much money from my first little eBook. The joke is on her, she’s also my landlady.

    1. Cindy

      I wasn’t inspired until I turned 18. I love how people think writers make tons of money. If they only knew the truth.

  5. Jordanna East

    So many great additions to my list! I wish we didn’t even have to talk to people sometimes, haha. Thanks everyone for your kind words about my guest post (and special thanks to Terri for saying she couldn’t wait to read Blood in the Paint!). And I can’t show enough gratitude to Cindy for having me.

  6. Ryan Casey

    Great post Jordanna! I just completed my debut novel and know exactly what you mean. The ‘So, you’re published?’ one is always a tricky one to explain, however my personal worst has to be when somebody asked, ‘What if noone likes it?’ Try answering that one! Good luck with the book launch.

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