With the RWA National conference coming up almost everyone has pitching on the brain. Writers are frantic trying to boil their story down to a twenty-five word log line that entices. Log lines seem to be the new buzz word in publishing. I don’t remember hearing about them years ago. The only place I heard them used was in the screenwriting industry. But a log line for your book is a great idea. It gets your concept out there in a short sentence that will hopefully garner interested questions.
I just finished giving my log lines workshop in June. The consensus was it was much harder to come up with the twenty-word word log line if you’ve already written the book. The frustration a lot of the students felt in another log line class I sat in on was because they didn’t know their premise. They knew their story but story and premise aren’t the same thing. That’s why I always preach in my log lines class that you should come up with the log line first. It’s so much easier than coming up with it after the fact. You want to put in all the story and you just can’t do that in twenty-five words or less.
So what is a log line? It’s a sentence, preferably twenty-five words or less, that conveys the essence of your story. The idea, the concept. Not the story itself. Of course you can go over by a few words but less is more. And the less you have the easier it is to memorize. The easier for the agent to pitch to an editor. The easier for an editor to pitch to the senior editor. You get the idea. It should have no names. Protagonists would be described using an adjective and a noun. Also, don’t try to keep the best parts out thinking you’ll intrigue an agent or editor. The best parts are what they’re looking for, what they need to know so they can decide if they want to know more. So no secrets.
Since I started writing screenplays as well as books I come up with my log lines first and go from there. I run the log lines by people before I start writing. The log line that gets the most positive feedback is the project I work on.
I’m giving my log lines workshop over at Celtic Hearts Romance Writers in August. Too late for National but there are other conferences coming up. No matter how you get your pitch ready, be ready for when you get asked that question every writer gets asked. So what’s your story about?
Off to work. They never ask what my stories are about. I bombard them with log lines anyway. 
Until next time…
Cindy
July 21, 2010 at 8:29 am
Okay, been working on my Master’s capstone script (also, writing a novel), so here is my logline:
A secretive underground bunker built by the Mays family located under the family cabin becomes a refuge for two teenagers during a lethal pandemic.
July 21, 2010 at 8:30 am
It took me A while to synthesize A 95,000 word MS down to six words, but here it is: Lara Croft meets Kate and Leopold.
July 21, 2010 at 8:56 am
Condensing any story down to a single sentence is tough. Here’s a couple of mine:
Insolence: A weekend with Ainsley shows Aric that submissive or insolent, all he wants is her.
Where There’s Smoke: Four brothers, three dead mothers, two smoking hot heroes who are lovers, and one murderous father in an epic tale of love and destiny.
July 21, 2010 at 9:17 am
:wall: Thank you for the wonderful post. I’ve been beating my head against the wall working on my log line. I’m one of those special poeple who wrote the story first. Agh. This helps. Thanks again!
July 21, 2010 at 9:22 am
Here’s mine for Cattitude:
When a cat changes bodies with a woman, she thinks anything a human can do, a cat can do better.
July 21, 2010 at 9:26 am
Mine’s a YA that kept me up nights demanding to be finished.
The Ghost Chronicles: Can Michael Andrews make it to heaven before the devil gets him first and if it means leaving Sarah, is he sure he still wants to go?
July 21, 2010 at 11:14 am
I have been trying to incorporate your advise into a log line for the manuscript I am working on. Here is my effort:
Smoking hot dragon shifters, frozen for over 800 years are now being freed. Now it time to hunt to protect mankind.
July 21, 2010 at 11:39 am
I know, I know, I know. I do it all wrong. I write the synopsis, back cover blurb and logline when the story is finished. I can’t help it. I’m a pantzer and I don’t completely know where everything’s going until it’s finished. (And I love Kera’s logline BTW.
)
July 21, 2010 at 12:19 pm
I don’t really need to pitch this book. Just practicing on the 2nd book in my humorous paranormal series.
Title: ICING ON THE DEMON (Demons Unleashed book #2)
Caterer Serah SanGermano struggles to hide her demon-hunter powers. Matthias, the demon sent to protect her, struggles to hide his desire. This kitchen’s hotter than Hell!
Thanks!
Sidney
July 21, 2010 at 12:21 pm
Here’s another one for the above project: Hell’s Kitchen, literally!
July 21, 2010 at 1:17 pm
Loglines are a bitch, I agree, but it is the way the movie industry has always worked. They’re very afraid of new ideas so the Laura Croft/Kate & Leopold reference above was GREAT! Here’s mine for my first novel, Night Surfing:
Can you be so determined to find the love of your life
that you have to dream him up walking straight out of the surf into your arms?
I picture Scarlett Johansson playing my character Sosie Bend so I think that’s a good start as in:
Night Surfing would be the perfect next project for Scarlett Johannson…
Who knows…it can be such a mystery sometimes figuring out what sells!!!
July 21, 2010 at 1:34 pm
Thanks for the tips. I’m working on loglines for two projects now.
Marsha
July 21, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Wow you guys have been busy!
I’m going to comment like I would in my workshop. I ask questions to get you to dig deeper, to focus on the concept rather than story. You wouldn’t necessarily answer the questions in the log line.
Sounds interesting Donna. I think it would sound more interesting if you started with action. What prompted the action? Sounds like the pandemic. So – A lethal pandemic forces two teenagers to What?
Ruth, that sounds like a great X meets Y framing. It’s not really a log line though. Loved Lara Croft. Haven’t seen Kate and Leopold so I’m missing that part of the equation for picturing what the story is about.
Lex, for Insolence what is the character’s goal? The two A names confused me. Part of the reason log lines shouldn’t have names. What motivates either character? Whose story is it?
For Where There’s Smoke I get a little more feeling for the story but I still don’t know what it’s about. There are a lot of people in the log line. One rule of thumb is to only have your protagonist and antagonist.
Rachel, glad you liked the post. It’s just a snippet of what I teach in my workshop. Lots of writers have a hard time condensing their story down to twenty-five words.
Edie, love it! I see humour, conflict. What’s the cat’s goal though? To prove that whatever humans can do cats can do better? Can’t wait to read it, BTW.
Marlo, thanks for playing. One thing I didn’t mention in the post that I do talk about in the workshop is to avoid questions. And names. Why is the devil after him? How did he die? How could he have a choice for staying if he’s dead?
Kera, sounds promising. Who freed them? Why? Protect mankind from what? Why were they frozen?
Nina, I’m a pantser too. I still always come up with the log line first because it’s the concept. It’s not the story. It’s the idea the story is based on. An alien stuck on earth does everything he can to get home, causing havoc for the family who took him in. That could be anything. ET, a story about a hot alien who lives with three spinster sisters, ALF, a story about a fugitive alien who holds a family hostage.
Sidney, love the title. Why was a demon sent to protect a demon hunter?
I’ll be back after work with more comments!
July 21, 2010 at 2:34 pm
Hi Cindy! I ran out of words. The hero is a member of an elite group of demons called Paladins. They protect Earth from the bad demons.
July 21, 2010 at 3:47 pm
Oh, hell! I can’t resist! Here is my pitch:
Caught in a centuries old battle between her kind and werewolves, a teenage multi-shifter risks revealing herself when she chooses to fight for the boy she loves – her only ally, a werewolf.
Cindy, you kinda rock!
xo
July 21, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Only one page written, no plot, no outline, no nada, except this:
Lord Randolph and the Witch (working title): The first time Chef Valentina Rosselli saw Lord Randolph deScotia the fiery redhead threw a meat cleaver at him, and he tried to cut her head off. It wasn’t surprising, though. She thought he was a home invader, and he thought she was a witch building a castle on his land. It turned out they were both right.
July 21, 2010 at 9:54 pm
Word Actress, thanks for stopping by. I love log lines. I love Scarlett Johansson. I’m not quite sure what your book is about though based on that question.
Good luck with the log lines, Marsha!
Sidney, sounds like a cool book.
Cecilia, so it’s a Romeo and Juliet type story? What is a multi-shifter? Awww. Thanks!
Bart, it’s not a log line but I like it! It works as a more detailed pitch. Sounds like a fun story.
July 21, 2010 at 10:21 pm
Great post, Cindy. I’m having trouble with my logline for the single title I’m working on right now. I might email you privately, ’cause I need some inspiration before National. lol
July 21, 2010 at 10:49 pm
Cindy – thanks for your help. I totally see a problem if you haven’t see Kate and Leopold. Here is my second pass. Torn apart by time or joined by a love greater than their circumstances, Rebeka and Lord Arik fight for the survival of their past and the promise of their future.
July 22, 2010 at 5:00 am
I find log lines harder to write than the book. Here’s mine for Silver Serenade, which according to your advice, is more story based:
A beautiful assassin and a desperate fugitive join forces to catch a terrorist and prevent an intergalactic war.
Ditto for this one for my WIP:
An intergalactic warrior joins forces with a sexy mythologist to stop a dimensional rift from destroying Earth.
Whoops, I use “join forces” in both of them. Clearly, I need help!
July 23, 2010 at 10:18 am
Hi, Melanie! Feel free to fire away if you need help.
Ruth, that’s much better. Names don’t tell me much about the characters though. Why do they have to fight for the survival of their past? What is the promise of their future? How is that in jeopardy? What happens that makes them have to fight for this survival?
Nancy, they are hard to write. I still love them. It’s got a protagonist, an antagonist, a conflict. Consequence with the intergalactic war. Oh, I like the second one too. Love the dimensional rift. The first one is only 18 words. You could add to it. What happens that makes them join forces? What does the terrorist do? Why them? Why do they have to stop the terrorist? Why can’t the authorities stop the terrorist? Ditto for the second one. It’s only 17 words. You could add a little more. How did the rift happen? Why are they the only two who can stop it?
July 28, 2010 at 3:37 pm
Hi there :bananadance:,
Don’t know if this is still going on but I’ll give it a try.
Here’s the log line I’m currently using for my book “Rose of Crimson”
Fof his country, for freedom, he answered his call of duty to fight Ottoman Turks, only to retrun to destroyed home and murdered wife.
But, it feels like I’m really not capturing the essence of the book.
Zrinka
July 29, 2010 at 8:20 am
Hi Zrinka.
Thanks for playing! I agree with you about not capturing the essence of the book. Is finding his home destroyed and wife murdered the end of the book? That’s what it sounds like here. Or is that the inciting incident that makes him do something else? What does he do when he finds his wife murdered and home destroyed? What does he want?